Birds! .. à la Hitchcock

Standard

Courtesy of N.G

    Courtesy of N.G

The day began as any normal weekend. Sun was shining, the palm trees swayed gently, and, as I looked out of the window, I smiled.

Why was I smiling?

Oh, for no special reason. I just felt happy and positive. Actually, to be honest, my yoga guru’s instructions were abuzz in my ear.

I was told.. Stay happy. Stay positive. Keep a strong mind. Be poised and remain calm. Breathe. Just breathe.

Mantras ruled my mind. Love and Light. Think Peace. Breathe.

So I did just that. I didn’t go berry picking. Nor did I go sheep shearing. I just breathed.

Inhale. Exhale. Relax.

THUD!” – Oh!!

Suddenly, my concentration – well, sort of, focus – was rudely interrupted.

I turned to look in the direction from where the sound came.

I saw that a bird had hit the window pane. Gosh, the noise scared me out of my wits; shocked me into shivers. Totally.

Huh. So much for my mantra – “be poised and calm” and “keep a strong mind”….duh. Sorry, yogi. No can do.

Anyhow.. I squished my nose delicate nose against the window, and with a Miss Marple-like air, I sought an answer. Why did the feathered little fella behave in such a bizarre manner? Pourquois?

But, alas, the mystery remained a mystery. Then, more sounds, most eerie, were heard. This time, the Hercules Poirot in me was intrigued. He I listened.

Many birds – crows – screeched to high heaven. The terrifying noise numbed my senses. Yet aroused my sense of curiosity. So, out I went.

Courageously, I strode into unexplored territory, where no man dared to tread. Nah. Just kidding. I actually went out into the back yard. Haha.

The outside hot air hit me in the face, as I stepped on to the paved pathway that led to the back of the house.

Why were the crows shrieking their silly little heads off? I wondered.

Caw! Caw! Caw! Their shrills echoed all around.

Bravely, I walked on.

With my brows furrowed, lips puckered, the imagination played helter-skelter in my mind. Deep in thought I was when, like a bolt out of the blue, someone (or some thing) viciously bashed me at the side of my head.

Stunned. Shocked. I let out a silent scream.

Boggled and bewildered, I was still trying to figure out what had happened when my head received another unceremonious bash. Oh!

Dazed. Confused. I stood there, stuck to the ground. Glued to the spot. Ashen-faced, dry mouthed and in utter shock.

Only when I heard the extreme upping of the tempo of bloodcurdling shrieks, did it dawn upon me that I was under attack. Yes! A vicious attack. The flying brigade was out to get me – how wicked! The crows. Birds! Aargh.

Needless to say, no Mr Hitchcock came to the rescue. Sacré bleu! Sigh. Mais oui, the poor pale-but-interesting, petite damsel in distress, had to fend for herself. Mon Dieu. Is chivalry dead?

But I digress. A million apologies, mesdames et messieurs.

Pronto, I did a sharp u-turn. Then, skedaddled. With a heart beating rapidly, palms, sweating profusely, and, yes, eyes, popping out in fear, I paused, for a split second, to quickly snap off a bit of twig – my weapon – to twirl above my head, so to ward off the enemy.

Yeah. Hatari! I’m armed to the teeth. Eat your heart out, Danny boy 007.

Good thinking, girl. You rock! So, I patted myself on the back.

Finally, I reached the door. Phew.

It was with utter relief that I entered the safety of the hallowed indoors.

My home sweet home. Ah. I leant against the door. So grateful.

Lesson learnt. Point taken.

No more sleuthing, old gal.

No more investigating, Mal.

…….. Because,

There are birds out there!
Birds, mummy, birds!
Changes are shifting outside,
Birds are behaving crazy.
There are monsters out there,
Uh-huh, monsters, crazy monsters.
No more “I love birds”, no way,
Changes are shifting outside.
Crows – birds, no more “I love you’s”
That is for sure!

With my kind regards (and thanks) to Annie Lennox. 😊

 

Maloquacious © 2015

Advertisements

2 responses »

  1. Eek, scary birds! It’s never good when something that can fly goes rogue. I’ve never been attacked by a bird, fortunately, but one did hit my window quite badly once. There was a huge thump, and I heard a bird fly away. When I went to the window, a dusty bird-shaped smudge was on the window, which was rather icky, I must say. (Birds are dustier than I thought.) I wonder if this one was simply not watching where it was going, or perhaps it wished me ill will?

    Liked by 1 person

Aww, thank you for leaving a comment.. Bless you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s