You’re fired…in other words, ‘You’re such a Loser!’


Hmph. Indeed. What is the world coming to? I just finished watching telly, switched it off now, and sit, amazed, bewildered. Gobsmacked, to be honest.

Peacock Design

Image by ImageMD via Flickr

The programme was on hairdressing. And one by one, the ‘worst’ amongst the frizz of hairstylists is judged, voted out (as the ‘loser’) and simply kicked out of the competition. Told to pack up and go home. Scissors, razors, wigs and all.

To make matters worse they are then interviewed, and asked about their feelings.

Ha, feelings, you want to know? You gotta be kiddin’! How would you feel, man, if you were defeated and treated like that? Indirectly, you are being told on national (and international) television and I quote yours truly: ‘you’re not good enough, you loser!’

Have a heart, man!

Whether it’s in singing, dancing, ice-skating, cooking, baking, juggling, and all-the-others-that-I-might-have-missed fields…I feel very bad for the so-called ‘losers’. After all, they have their sense of pride. Don’t hurt them. Sob.

How their hearts must ache! Sniff. 

Speaking of hearts, imagine if there were to be such competitions for doctors and surgeons. Now, just think about that.

Picture if you will, an operating theatre. Yes, with tables, trolleys and tubes. And a spread of scalpels and needles, syringes and sutures…none of which are my favourite things, I must add, musically.

The judges (six of them, in case a couple of them faint at the sight of blood) sit and observe from the VIP box (or whatever that room with the big window is called). Hey, doc, help me out here…I’m on your side.

Turns by turn, members of the medical profession are called on to perform a surgical masterpiece—judges decide on which part of the anatomy—and each nip and snip, every twist and turn is carefully noted. Remember, the decision of the judges is final. So, break a leg, doc!

The judges have spoken. Here are some of their verdicts:

Dr Alfa, that didn’t quite click for me. Your moves lacked co-ordination…sorry, but you need more practice.

Dr Bravo, for me, it didn’t have that right amount of finesse…too messy and, frankly, rather too bloody awful!

Dr Charlie, nah, you failed in the end to wrap it up the way it should have been done…folded in, firmly yet neatly.

Dr Delta, yo man, you nailed it…your performance was a delight…you left everyone in stitches, well done!

Dr Echo, you touched the right cord…I could see that your heart was in it… and the beat was thumpingly effective.

Dr Foxtrot, I’m sorry, but you failed to impress. It just wasn’t good enough. Boring…dead and buried. RIP.

End of story.

Can you ever, in your wildest dreams, imagine such a scenario? As Snagglepuss would say: ‘Heavens to Murgatroyd!’

In the end, Owl’s peck of wisdom:

“Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure.”
George Edward Woodberry

Maloquacious © 2011 
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4 responses »

  1. I never watch these programmes because I am a a sucker for the losers. I feel for them. I used to watch Anne Robertson in “The Weakest Link” but she is absolutely so rude to everyone, even the ‘winner’ that the ‘losers’ are often demoralised by her sharp tongue.


    • I totally agree with you, Judith. Contestants who lose must be treated with dignity and respect. Criticism should be constructive, not demeaning.
      Thanks for liking the post and I appreciate your comment.. 🙂


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